Learning my love language has improved my ability to self care.
When I reflect on activities that made me feel the best and were the best for me, I realize that I had not been doing self-care for myself like I thought I had. The reason is the best self-care won’t make other areas in my life worse.
For example, spending money on what I thought was self-care made it more difficult for me to stick to my financial goals and would not make me feel the best I could. However, after I meditated on why I spend money on self-care, I could see the reasons behind my actions.
Growing up, I often spent time with people I cared about doing things that required spending money. I wanted to spend time with those people, but I learned that it was OK to shop and buy something non-essential. Shopping became a way to bond with people.
I learned that I needed to spend money on myself to show myself love, because that’s what other people did for me. But, I do not have the income to spend money on myself or anything non-essential. It would also make it harder to pay down debt and save money if I was spending my income on things I wanted, not things I needed.
The best way for me to feel loved is by spending quality time with myself and people I care about.
Gifts are lovely, and I always appreciate them when people think of me. Time is precious and invaluable. It is the greatest gift to give someone.
Spending money on myself is great when I need things, or I want that feeling of a new, cozy sweater. However, it is not great when it makes it harder to reach my long-term goals. Over time, I will actually regret spending money on non-essentials. If I had more expendable income, maybe spending money on self-care would make more sense.
For now, I am working on my authentic self, and I don’t think I’ve ever been the type of person to be materialistic. I think I’ve learned that behavior and used shopping to get a little boost of happiness and a way to spend time with others. There are other ways I can get the same boost without spending a lot of money. Also, I can find ways to spend time with people I care about doing activities that do not cost anything.
As I learn to see and accept my authentic self, I will naturally unlearn behaviors and habits that served me as a younger person and do not serve me and my goals as an adult. Spending quality time with myself and those I care about will help me feel better and grow as a more authentic person.
A Comfort Blog 